I've decided I want to start over on this blog..my past posts have been deleted in an effort to create a more thoughtful, scholarly diary :p. When I put up new posts in April, I'd deleted some prior posts, but for some reason couldn't get myself to totally purge them all. Now, after shedding some tears over the 'Sex and the City' movie, and getting the inspiration to write from Carrie Bradshaw (lol), I want to see if I can give this blog another go.
I can say with 100% confidence that the past 18 months have been the most stressful months of my life. In the past 48 hours alone I've felt joy, sorrow, fear, envy, and anger. It would be wayyy to laborious of me to give a play by play of what's been going on, but the over-arching theme pertains to my journey on the path to self-discovery.
Right now I feel so disconnected. My friend will tell you that on a regular basis I'm asking her "what am I doing in Oregon?". All my close friends are from college, and old habits have made me a homebody (besides going to work and the gym). The person I talk to the most lives 1,000 miles away. "Don't you have friends from high school you can kick it with?". No. Sounds strange, but my social awkwardness back then somehow prevented me from making bonds that could withstand the distance and time of being a continent away. I am the type of person who enjoys her alone time, but I'm in a position where if I want to socialize, I can't. It usually doesn't bother me, but it's bothering me tonight. Maybe because it's a Saturday night and everyone's out so there's no one for me to spill my guts to, or my monthly friend is about to arrive and I'm feeling moody..must be the latter because as I'm writing, my unyielding urge to rant is slowly but surely waning..
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